Tuesday, April 24, 2012

How To Stop A Scratcher: The Synyster Ink Experiment

We've all seen bad tattoos. They're everywhere. Everyone knows someone with a bad tattoo. I'm not talking about a stupid tattoo, but a bad tattoo. A tattoo that is the nightmare of every professional and the envy of every Playboy-stealing 12-year-old thug. They vary in content from half-melted roses to crooked single-line names like "Jody" or "Tim". They're uneven, they're green, they're faded. They exist. But recently I was shown the WORST tattoos I've ever seen. The kind of tattoos that are so bad it is a health hazard to be near them, far worse even than concentration camp tattoos.

One evening my girlfriend and I were settling into bed, each of us skimming articles and FaceBooking on our phones while chatting to one another when she began to laugh. "What's funny?" I asked. "My friend just sent me a link to some horrible tattoo guy on FaceBook," she replied. She handed her phone to me to take a look. At first I thought it was a joke, but it wasn't. It was real, and it was real bad. Let's go in for a closer look. What I saw were patches of traumatized skin. Not just one, but several. Take a look. 





As I clicked through the pictures I kept asking myself, "Who would do this? What person on earth is so subhuman to consider this 'work' and to pridefully post pictures of it?" With one more click, my question was answered; this guy:

Pissed off and disgusted I passed the phone back to my girlfriend and stared at the ceiling. Soon she clicked off her lamp and was sleeping soundly but I remained awake, unsettled and staring into the darkness. I wondered what I could do and all through the dark hours I remained awake, thinking of how to track this person down and put a stop to what they were doing. 

The morning came slowly and I got out of bed an hour early to revisit the images from the night before, trying to figure out who this person was, where they lived, anything I could learn about them. The FaceBook page found here, though full of photographs was anonymous. 

Throughout my morning routine, in the car on the way to work and all through the day at work I contemplated how to figure this problem out. The following is a step-by-step breakdown of how this issue progressed. 

STEP 1:
I looked at every photo, read every update and checked every comment on FaceBook. This returned only one result: a location: Green Bay, Wisconsin. That was enough for a search. 

STEP 2:
I entered a Google search query for "Synyster Ink". This returned the FaceBook page as one result, some images, a website with the same name, and a couple blog articles about the guy in the picture above. Before I read the blog articles I did a domain lookup for SynysterInkTattoo.com. 

STEP 3:
Via www.WHOIS.net I was able to look up the domain. From the registry entry I could see that his personal information was protected. This isn't uncommon for businesses that do not want to receive junk mail and phone calls. This is also not uncommon for people that wish to remain anonymous. 

STEP 4:
I checked the first blog article returned in the Google search but it provided little to go off of. When I read the second article, a comment left by a reader gave me a name. He went by the name Jeff "Synyster" Custer. It was a good start.

STEP 5:
I went back to FaceBook and did a person search for both Jeff Custer and Jeff "Synyster" Custer. This returned no results. HOWEVER, a Google search for Jeff "Synyster" Custer returned a comment left on an event page by Jeff. 

STEP 6:
Following the Google link to the FaceBook event page, I found a link to his user account. I checked the account out and it was a definite match. 

STEP 7:
I thoroughly checked all his FaceBook information and wrote everything down. I learned that he was from Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin but currently lived in Oneida, Wisconsin and was employed by Zeamer's Welding. 

STEP 8:
Using www.WHITEPAGES.com I looked up Zeamer's Welding and wrote down the address and phone number of the company. 

STEP 9:
Going back to FaceBook, I saw that he at some point tagged himself at home which showed up as a pin drop on a map in his timeline. I clicked on the map and zoomed all the way in. This gave me a near-exact location (down to the cross streets) of where he lived. 

STEP 10:
I did a Google search for Oneida, Wisconsin. I learned from www.WikiPedia.com that it lied within Outagamie county. 

STEP 11:
I entered a Google search query for Wisconsin Health Department. From this search I found Wiscosin's Department Of Health Services homepage.  

STEP 12:
On the Wisconsin Department Of Health Services page I entered the search term "tattoo". This returned several results. The first result would prove to be the most important. I learned that tattoo licensing and regulation was controlled by the department of Food Safety and Recreational Licensing. From the Food Safety and Recreational Licensing department homepage I clicked the "Contact Us" link at the bottom of the page. This directed me to a contact page. On the page was an option to search the directory by department. At the top of this page there was a field to search by program. On a hunch I typed in "tattoo" and clicked "search". This returned the contact information for the head of the tattoo licensing department. This is when things got interesting. 

STEP 13:
Once I had the name, phone number and email address of the head of tattoo licensing I drafted an email from my personal account which included all of the information I gathered from Google and FaceBook about "Synyster Ink". I've omitted his personal information, but the rest of the email is as the original was written:


"This complaint does not need to remain anonymous. 

I am attending a licensed training facility to become a licensed tattoo artist in my state. I know the regulations in my state and have read carefully the regulations for the state of Wisconsin as set by the Department of Health Services in your state and am basing my complaint off these regulations. It has come to my attention that an individual in or near Oneida is operating a "tattoo" shop out of his home and is not in compliance with health or licensing standards. 

"Synyster Ink Tattoo" in Oneida is believed to be operated out of a home location not in compliance with business zoning or health department standards. It is also believed that the individual responsible for the operation is not a licensed artist.

His name is Jeff Custer and he also operates a website by the name Synyster Ink Tattoo located at: 


In addition to this he maintains a Facebook page which documents through photo his procedures. That link is below:


In several of the photographs there are clear violations of health standards for body art establishments as well as evidence of improper techniques and injury caused by the "proprietor" of Synyster Ink Tattoo. This is a serious complaint. I have included is all the information I have readily available. I do not know the exact location of this person but that information should be available through county records. 

Please look into this matter as it is paramount in importance for public health. Only the photo evidence can convey the severity of this situation. 

I concluded by adding my telephone number for contact. Within hours I had an incoming call from a Wisconsin number, it was the head of the tattoo licensing department.

We spoke for several minutes about my complaint and he said the information about the person had been verified and that they were taking the complaint very seriously. He personally contacted the Brown County Department of Health and Sheriff's office with the information and they were processing a cease-and-desist order which was to be to delivered to "Synyster Ink" at his residence the following day.

The following day I received an email. It read:


Thank you for contacting the Department of Health services with your complaint.  The Department has received numerous complaints regarding this individual and the Brown County Health Department has made contact with the individual and issued a cease and desist letter as well as taken enforcement action.  Thanks again for bringing this to our attention.

It worked. 

The following day I checked his FaceBook page to see if it had really worked. I gathered from his angry updates that he'll "tattoo whoever I [he] wants!" that it had indeed worked. 

I was satisfied, and though there were variables to consider about how it affected his personal life, I slept well that night.